Friday, January 14, 2011


Wow- have things changed! As I look back at my November & December posts about being so happy, content, and just all around settled. Funny how finding out I was pregnant turned my world upside down! We had hoped and prayed for this, and are very excited to add a new little one into our family, no matter how rough the road. I don't want to ever sound ungrateful for this pregnancy, because God has blessed me beyond measure...but oh how life has changed.

I had forgotten just how debilitating pregnancy sickness can be. Life has pretty much come to a standstill for me - I can't eat much of anything, I don't sleep at all, it is extremely hard for me to be the mother I want to be for Max, the house sits unclean, the laundry stacks up - I'm just stuck. Sitting in the house counting the minutes until one day is over and the next begins, only feeling hopeless about a new day starting. Because I will feel the same- sick. So sick that at most given moments I'm just trying to hold the gagging back in my throat. So sick that it is hard for me to read to my little boy each evening before bed. My whole body trembles constantly in pain and fear.

Feeling like this is so isolating...I can't really go out and do ANYTHING, interact with anyone, and my poor husband and son are stuck to deal with me. I am hoping it begins to ease within the next few weeks (as my first trimester ends), but am not getting my hopes up. I realize that some people will be offended by this post, that I'm complaining when God has blessed me with a baby. Please understand that I am only stating how I feel at this moment - and I know there will be times during this pregnancy that my heart leaps for joy and I won't be able to contain my excitment:) I just keep reminding myself to praise God thru this storm...I would have NOTHING without HIM.

Ok - to rewind a bit, I want to get caught up on the end of December & early January with photos! On New Year's Eve we ended up having my mom & dad, and my two cousins with their significant others over to celebrate, since I knew I wouldn't be getting out and doing anything. We had a really great meal (thanks Jessica) and then played the Wii for awhile, ended the evening with lots of laughs and 4 empty bottles of sparkling grape juice:) Earlier this week I was able to drag myself out of the house to take Max to Jasper to watch the Harlem Globetrotters - it was super cute and Max thought it was the funniest thing ever:) We had a nice evening with Gabe's parents & sister & brother-in-law and it was good to get out among other people - here are a few photos from that night:

Thanks for listening...and sorry about the whining! haha!