Monday, September 29, 2008

Come follow me...

Let's start out by talking about my yard sale - WOW - what a day:)!! I worked all last week (in the evenings) getting ready for my yard sale, but all the hard work turned out to be worth it! We had a great turnout, fantastic weather, and I made more money than I EVER had from a yard sale:) Yeah, me:)!! I couldn't have done it without the help of my ever faithful cousin Chas, my mom who helped watch Max while I was preparing, and the graciousness of friends and even strangers (who bought more than they normally would or those who snuck a few extra bills into my pocket!!) Anyway - thank you to everyone who came, helped, or bought anything:) The crazy thing is, I am having it again this weekend (since I found out Cumback is having their community yard sale). I thought since I already had everything tagged, I might as well give it one more shot:)!! Anything extra will be a bonus!

The rest of the weekend was filled with hard work mom, my brothers, and a few of their buddies helped me pack up most of my stuff from the house and move it! What would I do without family?? They give and give so unselfishly - and I only hope that I can return the favor one day!! It took us all of Sat. evening and most of the day Sunday to move my stuff - but we ended up having fun and and quality time together:) I am truly blessed!! I took some pictures of Max on Sat. night with his new camo shirt from Uncle Cole - ok, so it's super big but he can sleep in it:)!! Here is my sweet little man...

Taaaa...daaaaa.....and there is his little dance:)!!

Then on Sunday we picked up Gil for church and listened to Maury speak - he is also a great speaker who I truly "get" and enjoy! He was discussing what it meant to be a "disciple" of Christ...not just believing in Him, but following Him. He really made me think when he talked of the time when Jesus met with the fishermen and asked them to drop their nets and follow Him and he would make them "fishers of men." Maury said that they dropped everything and followed hesitation. But what really struck me is that Maury said that these men KNEW that this was no short-term commitment...they realized the enourmousy of the commitment and they still did not have to even think of their decision - they just knew they had to go. How willing would we be today to "drop everything" and follow Jesus? I know at times I am WAY too attached to the earthly treasures I have...but I want to be like these men!! I want to not even have to think about it, just drop everything, and follow Him. Not think twice, not have any doubts, not have any regrets - knowing it would be a lifelong commintment...just follow Him and be his disciple. I can't stop thinking about how exciting life would be:)!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I just have to share what Max's babysitter told me when I picked him up yesterday - even though he will be sooooo embarrassed of this story when he gets a little older:) Hey - moms are supposed to tell those kind of stories - right??

Yesterday when the kids sat down to have their "afternoon snack" Trinia (the babysitter) was telling Emma (Max's little girlfriend) that her dress was awfully pretty. She also told Emma that she was impressed about how her panties matched her dress perfectly. Max then looks at Emma and says "Can I see your panties?" Emma answers back quickly, "Sure!" and lifts up her dress. Everyone started laughing...but Max and Emma didn't seem to know what was so funny! I thought that was super cute! Speaking of is an older photo of Max in his "undies!" I couldn't resist!!

I also wanted to share a quote that has been on my mind lately...I actually gave my brother this quote a few months ago when he was going thru a difficult time. It is so simple...but so true:

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Always before this whole mess happened I was so focused on my life and family being perfect. I wanted everyone to see that my days were filled with sunshine and laughter. But now I realize that isn't even how God intends our life to be...He never promised only happiness and perfection. But He promises to pick us up after we get knocked down...and to comfort us in our sorrows! Thank goodness I'm not preoccupied with everyone thinking I'm perfect anymore...that was getting in the way of my relationship with my Savior!! And I don't want anything getting in the way of that!

One more thing before I go - I wanted everyone to know that I'm having a HUGE yard sale this Saturday (8 a.m. - ?) at my house in Washington. Me and my cousin Chas are selling LOTS of stuff: we have lots Halloween costumes (boys, girls, and adults), little boys clothes, women's clothing, home decor, and probably just about anything you can imagine!! Take the bypass in Washington and turn left onto Troy Road, then 4 miles untill you come to 400S (gravel road) which you can only turn left on. My house is the third on the right...we will have signs up everywhere:)!! Hope to see some of you there!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Just another Monday...

Hi everyone:)!! Let me tell you about my weekend - it was a busy one!

On Friday evening Max and I went with Gil to Harvest Church, where we experienced an incredible night filled with AMAZING music and an incredible sermon (Pete Aldrich is the bomb...ok, does anyone say "the bomb" anymore??) This guy named Clay Harting sang and played the guitar before Pete spoke - and I was crying in the middle of his first song - beautiful songs that he writes!! Anyway, I just stood there with my eyes closed, tears running down my face and singing all the words (his songs pull you in and before you realize it, you know all the words!!) Then Pete talked about facing the "giants" in our lives - those things that control us. If you haven't heard Pete speak, I would recommend it to anyone! He is captivating - and he knows what he is talking about, because he has experienced the pain of addiction and how it tears people apart. He brought me, Gil, and Max up in front of the whole congregation as an example of giants (Gil's drug addiction) try to tear families apart. He pleaded with the congregation to destroy the giants in their lives (like David destroyed Goliath), before the giants destroy you! Gil even went up to the altar to pray (let me just tell you, he would have NEVER done that before he went to the Lighthouse)! All in all...I learned so much and it turned out to be a really cool night! Powerful, powerful message that I'm STILL processing:)

On Saturday I took pictures at a wedding all day - here is the cute couple (Regina and Jeremy Graber):
The wedding was beautiful, I got lots of great pictures, and everyone had a really great time! Max threw a fit when it was time to leave, because he had all kinds of little friends to play with at the he is with two of his friends - they were watching a DVD in the hallway to the reception!
Then on Sunday we went to Harvest with Gil again in the morning, then back to my mom and dad's for a Beasley (my mom's maiden name) family party! We always have a great time when we get together - and the weather was perfect! Max and Nick made sure to play rough and get extremely dirty...but that is what boys are good for, right? Here are a couple pictures from that party:
This is my cousin Lauren and my Grandpa Beasley:)!! After that party, we headed over to my Great Aunt Jeanie's for a Raber family party! The food was soooooooooooo good - and of course the boys spent the whole time watching the Colt's game! Here are some pictures from Aunt Jeanie's:

Clay, Cody, and Logan relaxing during the Colt's game!! Aunt Bea, my mom, Grandma Raber, and Aunt Gina getting ready for dessert!

Well, there is my weekend in a nutshell - now it's Monday (AGAIN) and I'm struggling thru:)! I have a busy week ahead with meetings, a CPR class, getting ready for my yard sale (I will post about that later in the week), and just keeping up with my little munchkin!! It should be to ya later!

Friday, September 19, 2008

I almost forgot...

I almost forgot - check out my new picture at the top of my page:) I was soooooooooo excited when one of my friends from WAYYYYYYYYYYYY BACK emailed me and said he had been working on 2 new pictures for the top of my page. These are pictures that he took - and then he used photoshop to change some colors and add text! It thought they were super cool - and it was sooooo thoughtful of him to even do that for me! I will post the next one in a couple of weeks! Thanks so much, Matt! Love and miss ya!

Everyone have an amazing weekend...I'm out!

I believe...

Yeah!!!!!!!! It's FRIDAY:)!! I'm looking forward to this weekend - it's gonna be super busy! Tonight we are going to church with Gil, then tomorrow I am photographing a wedding, and on Sunday we are having a big family get together for my dad's birthday. I'm sure I'll have lots of new pic.s to post on Monday.

This week has been pretty rough on me...I just continue to get unexpected phone calls about things Gil has done in the past few months (that I was oblivious to), I have been packing up the things in my house (moving is the pits!), and then some of the people I thought loved me the most are questioning how I am dealing with the situation I am faced with. That is what hurts me the most, because all I can say is that I'm taking one day at a time and leaning not on my own understanding...but God's! I take that back - there is no LEANING going on - he is CARRYING ME!! When I think about who has abadoned me at the time I need them the most, I just remember this verse:

Romans 8:31-39: What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: " For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

NOTHING will seperate me from the love of matter what people say to me, no matter who puts me down, no matter how "wrong" my actions seem to some - "you don't know me, you don't wear my chains"(from the song Boston by Augustana). I just have to believe in God first and foremost...and also believe in myself and the decisions I make.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


I just had to share a couple things that Max has said recently that cracked me up:

Last night when Max got out of the bathtub he ran over to the scales and said "Mom, I want to weigh myself!" I told him that was fine and went on doing whatever I was busy with...pretty soon he yelled "Mom - I weigh 30 dollars!!" He was so serious about it, too! What a cutie!

Then this morning as I was taking him to Mamaw Gina's he was looking out the window and said "Mom - that silly moon is following us again." He always thinks the moon is "following" him...then he thought a moment and said "That moon said he wants to ride in our car, Mom!" I just laughed and laughed - I can't believe the stuff he comes up with:)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Role models...

It's Tuesday already...I'm really struggling getting back into my schedule because we have had no electricity since Sunday at about 2 p.m. REMC says it might be Wednesday before they can get to you know how hard it is to get yourself and a 2 year old ready in the morning in total darkness? Let's just say that if you see me today or tomorrow, try to hold back the scream :)!!

This weekend was REALLY, REALLY great and I feel like I'm finally getting back to the "old me." The me who isn't down in the dumps, hurt, and broken. I have to pull my self up from the darkness for Max! I was watching Max this weekend with my dad and my brothers, Cole and Clay. I have been really worried about Max not having a positive "father figure" in his life, but then this weekend I realized that he has so many positive male role models in his life!! He is soooo lucky - he has my dad (who thinks the world revolves around Max and would do anything for him!), he has Uncle Cole (who is the protective Uncle, that tries to guide Max in the right direction and would never let him down), and he has Uncle Clay (who brings excitment to Max's life...who does all the "fun" stuff with him and never leaves him out of anything). I can't focus on what Max is missing out on, I have to focus on all that he is experiencing...and he is one lucky little man:)!

Ok, so I mentioned that my weekend was really great - we went camping at Boggs and had so much fun:) It was the last weekend before Regina Wagler and Stoogie (Jeremy Graber) get married, so we had a little party (ok, a big party) and let me just say...I'm WAY too old to be staying up till 4 a.m. Here are a few pictures from the weekend!

Max and Taylon Graber had a blast: fishing, jumping around on Doink's air mattress, and just being silly!
Me and Alyssa went on a sweet tea run to McDonalds...I think the workers thought we were really weird ordering like 10 sweet teas!!
Clay and I are enjoying karaoke night - and of course a golf cart ride on the harley, look at our peace sister, like brother:)!! ha ha

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Character over comfort...

I'm amazed on a daily basis by the people around family (who stick by me day in and day out), my friends (who surround me with kind words and encouragment), and even those people that don't know me that well, but contact me with sweet notes, emails, and phone calls (even though they don't know exactly what to say). Since last Wednesday I have been smothered with love and well wishes from everyone...and I can't thank you enough!! You will never know how much each note, email, phone call, and bible verse means to me (cause I would never be able to put it into words)...

My Aunt Bea (a true angel to me) sent me an email about a guy named Rick Warren (I think he wrote "A Purpose Driven Life??) and he says this:

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

I really, really LOVED the way Rick Warren put this - it made me understand a concept that I sometimes struggle with - WHY ME?? I did nothing to deserve this...I shouldn't have to go through this. But by reading the email, I now understand that God puts trials in our lives to build our character. It's not because He is punishing me or pushing me away...but because He is making me into the person He wants me to be!! His goal is not to make my life happy...but to make sure that I experience true happiness in heaven!

I'll leave you with this Bible verse from 2 Corinthians 12:9 that I think goes along well with this: "My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Sunday, September 7, 2008

One little boy...soooo many tractors...

I can't believe another weekend is over with - we had a really nice weekend with my family. Friday night and all day Saturday was spent at the Antique show at Elnora. We really had alot of fun looking at all the cool tractors, searching for treasures in the flea market, petting all the animals, riding the ranger, and of course EATING some great food:)! Here are a few pictures from our time there:

This morning we picked up Gil from the Lighthouse and took him to church at Harvest in Washington. It was a great message, but what really stood out to me was a line from the first song we sang. It's called "Breathe" and as we lifted our voices in praise we sang "I'm desperate for you..." I clung to this phrase because it put into words exactly how I've felt since last Wednesday. I'm desperate for Jesus.

When we returned home I looked up the definition of desperate. It means having an intense need or desire. And then I knew for sure... I'm desperate for His love, His forgivness, His comfort, and His presence. As I've thought of it today I've just said a quick prayer and told God how desperate I am for Him - I guess it took this awful situation to show me how desperate I was for GOD:) (that is at least one blessing that has come from all this:)!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I must be crazy...

I have wanted to start this blog for a long time, and to people who know me well you know that this is a very odd time to start one. I can honestly say that this is one of the darkest periods of my husband got arrested yesterday, my marriage is falling apart, his addiction has caused financial problems - I'm dealing with lies, deciet, hurt...basically my heart is broken.

God sustains me. I wanted to start this blog to share with everyone just how amazing God can be! He is taking me at the lowest of all lows, and showing me how to use the Bible, church, prayer, and some angels he has sent me here on earth to learn from become more like HIM. I wanted to document my journey and I hope that one day I can help someone when they are facing something that feels hopeless. Psalms 22:9 says "Lord, how you have helped me before! You took me safely from my mother's womb and brought me through the years of infancy. I have depended upon you since birth; you have always been my God. Don't leave me now, for trouble is near and no one else can possibly help."
I know this in my heart...He has always been my God, He will always be my God, and he will not forsake me - especially now! If you ever think about us through the day, send up a little prayer. Thanks!!