Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Those I've loved and lost...

Death is such a punch in the gut. 
One day we were getting sweet kisses on the check and feeling his soft, wrinkly skin against our faces. 
My phone was ringing and his number was showing up on the screen. 
He had his old, worn Bible clutched in his hands with his arms spread wide…waiting for a hug. 

And this isn't the first time. It wasn't that long ago that we mourned this sweet man. I don't remember a time he wasn't waiting for a visit in that old house - with the musty attic and creaking stairs. 
He would drive up to the house on his green ranger for a visit. 
He would hold my children and capture my heart with his laughter. 
He didn't say much, but when he spoke to you…you listened and took everything to heart. He was a farmer his entire life, and passed down the love of the soil to his oldest son. 

And then there is this sweet woman - who had a huge part in molding me into the woman that I am today. 
Her kitchen was always open, always filled with amazing aromas, and a sanctuary where I could learn and share in her joy for baking. 
I inherited her "worrying" gene.
Max was her pride and joy…and although she never got to meet her first great-granddaugther, I like to think that she was the very first person to hold her namesake, before I even met my Callie Catherine.
So here I am…an abundance of sadness in my heart, but memories flooding my mind on a daily basis. I will get through this - God is my strength…these three people have instilled that in me. Because of their guidance and example, my faith continues to grow and I have so much HOPE...

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Hello Spring!

The weather has taken a turn for the better - HELLO SPRING…and we have been enjoying the warm temperatures! We spent a couple days at French Lick over Spring Break just to get away with the kids on a mini-vacation. They loved every minute of it and swam their little hearts out!


Max has been playing lots of basketball and baseball - he is a true sports lover & wants to be playing one or the other every single second of the day! Even on our days "off," he's asking to go to the ball park or gym!


We also celebrated Easter at several family member's houses! Lots of fun, Easter egg hunts, catching-up with family, and candy, of course:)!
 

We also celebrated my Grandpa Beasley's 90th birthday, Max had a wax museum at school where he was Albert Einstein, and Callie had her first preschool program! It's been a busy 2 months!


May is almost here - my next surgery is scheduled for June 2nd. I am extremely anxious about it, since it is a larger surgery then the 1st. Keep me in your prayers - because sometimes my anxiety is overwhelming!


Monday, March 23, 2015

3 months and a few photos...

I don't even know where to start - it's been soooooo long! I've just been:
dreaming and thinking,
working and watching ball,
snuggling my babies and enjoying the weather,
napping and relaxing,
cheerin' and traveling,
on-the-go and blessed-as-can-be.   Here are a few photos of what we've been up to!
This was taken during the North Daviess Cheer Clinic by Amy Graber - thanks for capturing this moment, Amy!!
The Odon Sawmill was recognized in Indianapolis for being the 2014 Loggers of the Year! Congrats guys!
I went through a surgery to remove a fibroid in my uterus. Unfortunately, it was too large to remove the entire thing, so another surgery will be scheduled for this summer:(!
Max has been playing ALOT of basketball - and his team won their division at the State Championship in Salem! That little team hustles like crazy, I'm super proud of them!
 Playing in the snow in February…we had a week off of school!
 My sweeties eating out at Steak-n-Shake…they had to order milkshakes for dessert!
 Snuggling with my babies - there is NOTHING better then being a their mama!
 Taking a walk in the beautiful weather…summer is on its way!
Celebrating Gabe's birthday with chocolate-covered strawberries! Well, there's nothing like catching up on 3 months worth of life with a few photos! I HAVE to do better at staying up to date on the blog!!

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Christmas 2014

Today is the first day of 2015 - seems completely impossible how fast the years are going. Christmas seemed so relaxed & magical this year. I really think the health problems I'm dealing with are making me slow down and take in each moment…just enjoy my kiddos and the magic that surrounds Christmas. We had several family parties to attend, but were able to really relax at each one & visit with the ones we love. 
Christmas Day family selfie

We spent Christmas Eve going from the Raber's, Grandma & Grandpa Swartzentruber's, and then ended up at my Mom and Dad's. 

 Callie was happy with her Frozen helmet, that matched her Frozen scooter…the only thing she asked for for Christmas!

The grandkids at Grandpa Bob & Grandma Raylene's…Lexi, AunaRay, Max, Jamison, and Callie

 My mom had a sign made for Max of a "quote" he came up with. He is super proud of it! He loves sports and making up sports quotes…he is an athlete through and through! 
 
 Melinda & Nate being sweet on Christmas Eve!
 Callie and Lexi Faith at Grandma Swartzentruber's!
 All the grandkids at Grandpa & Grandma Swartzentruber's - Max, Callie, Jamison, AunaRay, Reese, Lexi, Mila, and Parker
Uncle Clay & Hanna all snuggled in on Christmas Eve…

A few more days and it's back to the real world for me - back to work. I'm praying I keep this stomach bug I got yesterday to myself and my kiddos don't get it!! Yuck!
Happy 2015 - May God bless you and your families this year!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Fall Update

Now that we have had our first snow - I thought I better get caught

up on how Fall unfolded. I will do this mostly in photos, since that helps me remember exactly what we did:)! 

We visited Lark Ranch in Loogootee, Indiana and had a really great time! We met Nick, Jessica, Dailee, Matt, and Glenda there and there were all kinds of things to do - hayrides, mechanical bull rides, "gem" mining, horse rides, slides, bouncy houses, corn maze,   yummy food, and we even picked our pumpkins from a patch! The Lark Ranch really is a great family fun-filled place to visit!







In September we attended the annual Antique Show in Elnora, Indiana. Every year this is something that my family looks forward to - such a fun place to explore and relax! My mom, Nana Anna, has a stand there each year and sells vintage aprons and dishes. We usually spend all weekend here, just hanging out with family, camping, helping in any way, and shopping:) 






I forced Max to take a photo in front of his Elemenatry School - North Daviess. I wish I had a photo of myself at this age in front of Odon Elemenatry - I have so many amazing memories from that time in my life…but now the building is torn down and long gone. 

This beautiful couple got married this Fall - I think it's so cool because Logan is my first cousin, while Brooke is Gabe's first cousin:) The wedding was beautiful and we are so excited for them to start their life together! Callie & Max were both in the wedding…everything went smoothly & after the wedding we got to enjoy some great food & the kids danced the night away on the dance floor!












Max had a little run in with a pole while playing kickball with his buddies…crazy kid!!

We also celebrated AunaRay's 3rd Birthday…she is such a sweetie and everyone had a great time!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Update

I got great news last week - the results came back from the biopsy and everything was clear, no cancer! I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders…although my doctor still wants a decision on whether or not I can handle the symptoms or go ahead with surgery. Honestly, I'm home tonight because I'm experiencing such awful symptoms from this nasty fibroid. 
And I'm seriously debating having this surgery, especially after today when I disappointed both my kids  because of canceling our plans for tonight. I hate, more than anything, to disappoint my children. And between this and my stomach problems - I'm pretty much feeling like a failure. Failure as a mother, failure as a wife, and failure as a friend. Totally down tonight - sorry for all the negativity. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Not my idea of fun...

Waiting for a week for test results on whether or not you have cancer is NOT my idea of fun. 

I'm a wreck…grumpy & filled with fear. Not so nice to the ones who mean the most to me. About 3 years ago, right after I had Callie…I started dealing with awful, heavy periods and just not feeling well. I wrote it off to just getting older, having been thru 2 births, etc. But in the back of my mind I knew something wasn't right. I was tired ALL the time - and slept every chance I got. I don't mean like a little tired. More like couldn't keep my eyes open…and sleeping for hours and hours unless someone would wake me up.
Earlier this year I couldn't take it any longer and decided to go to the doctor. She ran all kinds of blood tests and found out my hemoglobin level was at a 7 - which meant I was anemic. Normal levels are 12-15 - my doctor said that if my level didn't come up some after taking iron, I would have to have a blood transfusion. 
I took iron twice a day for a week, and my level went up 1 point. My doctor agreed to let me continue to take iron and try to get my level up to normal. After a month on iron, my levels are now close to normal. After finding out I was anemic - the search was on as to why. Many doctor appointments later - my OBGYN found a fibroid in my uterus the size of a tennis ball. Last week he took a biopsy and I'm waiting on the results. 
My OBGYN doctor asked if Gabe & I are done having kids, because although it is rare for a 33 year old, he would suggest a hysterectomy. It is just too much to take in. My mind can't even wrap itself around all this information. Let alone talk to Gabe about completely erasing the idea of ever having another child. 
Please pray for us. Pray for me that I will let go of the fear & put all my worries in God's hands. Pray for strength and direction. Thank you, friends...