Tuesday, May 24, 2011


(Max 2008)

Some say I took the easy way out...

this is anything but easy.

Gil and I seperated when Max was only 2 years old.

Now he's 5 - and last night he broke down.

It was a normal night...we read a book, said our prayers, and laid down to fall asleep. And I started to hear Max whimper. It started out so softly that I thought I was only imagining it. But it quickly turned into full-blown sobbing.

I asked him what was wrong -

and my heart broke when he cried "I miss my Daddy!"

It caught me off guard because it's been so long since he has done this.

99% of the time Max is the most well-adjusted, happy, carefree little boy.

But I am often reminded that the choices that his father and I made are STILL affecting our sweet little boy every single day of his life.

Even if I don't see the effects all the time.

Even if I still feel this was the right choice for all of us.

Even if it still hurts.

No one should ever say divorce is the easy way out.

It's HARD and it's BRUTAL...and it's our reality.

Our hearts are still healing and probably always will be.


kathykellen said...

oh Abbie! My heart goes out to you and Max!! Much love and hugs!!!

Brittany Janae said...

Abbie, I think you're one of the toughest I've met so far in my life. I can't imagine going through what you had gone through then and now. It can't be easy, but I do know that Max loves you more than life.. I can always see it in his sweet little smile:), and one day he will love you even more because of your desire to give him the best life possible! I love you both and say a little prayer for your hearts to continue healing..

Whitney Dyer said...

Prayers sent your way. May God give you the strength and words to calm his sweet heart! Stay strong!

The Gingerich Girls said...

Abbie- You are so strong and you have helped me so much through my divorce and my struggles being a single parent and making sure that I am doing the best as I can for the girls and myself. You mean so much too me and have shown me what true GRACE is during these tough times. You are right, it is HARD and BRUTAL, and our reality, all we can do is to show our love, hold our child(ren) alittle tighter and still show/tell them that BOTH parents LOVE them whether they are together or apart.Thank you for being such a GREAT friend to me

Leah Robinson said...

Anyone who says it's EASY hasn't been through a separation NOR have they had to deal with the emotional downfall that a child has from their parent's splitting!!! My best advice is to be open and honest with him! He's getting to the age where he's actually figuring things out and the entire situation. I was shocked one day when Hunter told me she wished her dad and I were still together...this was years after we split and I had already married Joe. Kids are honest, they speak from their heart....but they don't know the reality of situations. They don't realize yet that this WAS the best choice for the long run....but don't worry Max will one day realize your sacrifice! You are an AMAZING mother!

Abbie said...

Thanks so much for the support, you guys! I have no clue what I would do without supportive friends like you!

Chelsa said...

Prayers for Max (and his momma) :)

Tera said...

((BIG HUGS)) Love you both!

Ashley said...

I can't imagine how hard it was and still is! I know you did what your heart felt was right for everyone. Praying for you and Max and Gabe!