Monday, March 9, 2009

Monday Blues

The week has not started well for me...I'm having a really hard day today - it started last night when I got a phone call from Max at 9 p.m. (He had been with his Daddy since Sat. afternoon). I could hear Max sobbing and I asked him what was wrong. All he kept saying over and over was "I want to come home!" I tried to soothe him with my voice and kept telling him things were gonna be ok...but are they? Gil got on the phone and I asked him if I could come pick Max up, which I knew wouldn't solve anything in the long run, but it was just my maternal instincts taking over. He thought that Max had calmed down some and he would be ok to spend the night at the Toy's. As I hung up the phone, I began to sob like a baby. I was so upset that my baby was upset and I wasn't there to hold him. I spent the rest of the evening fighting the urge to drive to Loogootee, tossing and turning without Max in my bed. This is not what I wanted for my life, for my child's life.

This is exactly what I didn't want to put Max thru - I didn't want him to have to pay for the mistakes and decisions that his parents have made. I want to shield him from all the hurt, the fear, the confusion...I am counting down the mintues until I can pick him up today at the babysitters. My day is dragging by because of this...

Also, this morning I went out to my car and the battery was completely dead. I was already running late and then my car won't start!! What a way to start off on a Monday! :(

I am also the punching bag today for all those Barr-Reeve fans that are bitter about the recent sectional game.

I think I just should have stayed home today!!!!!

Here is a quote I found that brightened my day a tiny bit:

"Promise me you'll always remember:
You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."
- A.A. Milne

11 comments:

Megan said...

I am praying for you!!

sarah said...

Abbie Lynn~ Stay strong! I know how hard it is cause I have been in that place with my child. It is the hardest thing, but stay strong for you and Max. I will keep you both in my prayers;) Love ya and Miss ya bunches.

Boothbloggers said...

Oh Abby- I am so sorry about your last couple days. That would truly be awful to hear your little one crying on the phone like. But just like your heart was broke over that, God sees your tears and wants to comfort you, like you want to hold Max. I am so glad that you know Him. You and Max are going to get through this and will have the best testimony to prove it! I love ya girl!and i'm praying for you!

Alyssa said...

Just wanted to give you an insight from somebody who used to be one of those little kids... I used to be the kid that my dad didn't even care and would take to grandmas. I called home ALL the time. Sometimes mom would come & other times she wouldn't. Sometimes I wish I would've had my dad around a lot more in my life and i'm thankful for the times my mom did MAKE me stay or go with him. BUT I am also glad that she made the decision she did for me and her because it has turned out for the best.

Lauren said...

Abbie,

It has to be lonely for you right now and to watch Max's heart break it must be agonizing. If there's one thing I know and can encourage you with, it is this:

the love of the Lord endures.


look up, look up, look up!
Psalm 121
Love,
Lauren

Leah Robinson said...

That was probably one of the hardest things I've been through as well Abbie! I would take Hunter to her dad's house & she would cry the entire drive there (1 hr) and then kick & scream & hang on the door frame not wanting to go in. This went on for months......her dad said she was fine once she was there & settled in.

It's a hard transition to get used to, but they do. I'm not sure if it was harder on me or Hunter. I would cry all the way home and constantly call & check on her. Once I just "let go" somewhat....it all went smoother....plus Hunter got used to the situation and we started thinking of all the fun she’d have at her daddy’s house.

I did feel the same way as you said though....that you didn't want to put him through this. I didn't plan this life for Hunter. I swore that I would never let my child be part of a "broken home"....but that's not what God had planned. He has BIG plans for Hunter just like he does for Max! Someday we’ll all see the big picture & have no regrets! Just keep loving him like you do, and he will see that!

Hang in there hun!!! Love ya!

Tera said...

Aww, honey!! I'm sorry you going through this. We all know you didn't plan for this. :( Keep your head up, girl.
BTW, I hope you don't think we BR fans are "bitter" toward ND fans, just VERY bitter toward the ref...and the IHSAA for not doing something about it. We know it's not the ND fans' or players' fault. :) And for what it's worth, I'm glad Logan had a good game. :)

Sonya said...

Abbie, I am soo sorry you and Max have to go through this. I can not imagine what it is like. I will be praying for you! Like Tera said it's not the North Daviess players or fans fault. So chin up girl!

Anonymous said...

Abbie,
Hang in there with Max, I'm sure there will be more hard times but always remember, you have ALL your family backing you and Max.
As far as the ballgame, well I'm not going to say what I really think but if there was a bad call it happens in every game. This one just happened at a ND and BR game which makes it worse. Throw in Loog and you got Indiana Basketball. U gotta love it.
Remember "FAMILY" Uncle D

Kayna Clidienst said...

Abbie, This definitely brought tears to my eyes..... Although this is not the situation you had in mind for your life it has only brought you and Max closer together. I've went through some of what Max is feeling around I was around the same age. I was torn between the people I loved. Hang in there hun, there are going to be hard times but I promise you that things will get better just keep looking at the big picture and let Max know how much his Mommy loves him trust me, he will ALWAYS remember that!
Love ya and I've definitely got you guys in my thoughts!

Chelsa said...

Abbie- My heart hurts for you. I'm praying that you have a better Tuesday (and all the rest of the week too!). Keep your head held high because you are a great momma. Sometimes our plans are not the Lord's plans- He knows best, no matter how hard that is to swallow at times. LOVE YA GIRL.