The week has not started well for me...I'm having a really hard day today - it started last night when I got a phone call from Max at 9 p.m. (He had been with his Daddy since Sat. afternoon). I could hear Max sobbing and I asked him what was wrong. All he kept saying over and over was "I want to come home!" I tried to soothe him with my voice and kept telling him things were gonna be ok...but are they? Gil got on the phone and I asked him if I could come pick Max up, which I knew wouldn't solve anything in the long run, but it was just my maternal instincts taking over. He thought that Max had calmed down some and he would be ok to spend the night at the Toy's. As I hung up the phone, I began to sob like a baby. I was so upset that my baby was upset and I wasn't there to hold him. I spent the rest of the evening fighting the urge to drive to Loogootee, tossing and turning without Max in my bed. This is not what I wanted for my life, for my child's life.
This is exactly what I didn't want to put Max thru - I didn't want him to have to pay for the mistakes and decisions that his parents have made. I want to shield him from all the hurt, the fear, the confusion...I am counting down the mintues until I can pick him up today at the babysitters. My day is dragging by because of this...
Also, this morning I went out to my car and the battery was completely dead. I was already running late and then my car won't start!! What a way to start off on a Monday! :(
I am also the punching bag today for all those Barr-Reeve fans that are bitter about the recent sectional game.
I think I just should have stayed home today!!!!!
Here is a quote I found that brightened my day a tiny bit:
"Promise me you'll always remember:
You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."
- A.A. Milne