Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Just thinking...

Tonight when I got home from dropping Max off to see his dad, I flipped on the T.V. while I made supper. I caught the last 3 min. or so, but saw that they were discussing stay-at-home moms vs. working moms. I got me thinking (and worrying) about leaving Max each and every day as I head to work. But before my thoughts got too in depth, I thought to myself - "Stop."

These women should not be on the Dr. Phil show arguing against each other and yelling about who is the better mom. I really can't even believe this! I think we (as women) beat ourselves up enough and put tremendous amounts of guilt upon our own shoulders about anything and everything - we don't need to turn against other, fellow mothers. Each woman has their own burdens to bear, decisions to make, duties to fulfill - we can't judge each other for the way we raise our kids. We should be lifting other mom's up...encouraging them and helping them when we can.

As long as we are each trying our best and loving our children the most our hearts will allow, then I admire each and every mother who is doing what she has to do. It's a whole different ball game when children are in the picture - that is obvious. So no matter how much time you get with your kids, whether you are home all day with them or you just get to see them a few hours at night...just make every moment count and have no regrets. Love with all you have and never miss an oppurtunity to say "I love you!"

7 comments:

April Stilwell said...

You are so right Abby! I stay home with my little ones, but at the end of the day I feel guilty that I didn't do enough for them!! I spent the day cleaning, doing laundry, running errands, pulling them off of each other, picking up after them.... and have to stop and remind myself to spend QUALITY time with them. It's quality, not quantity. And there are lots of days when I envy mothers who get to go out and have adult conversation!!!

Sonya said...

I agree Abby. I love your post. Every family has a different situation. We have to do what's best for our family. We should support each family's decisions. Like April said, I only work two days a week and I still find myself feeling guilty at times. Do I spend enough time with them? We have to know that we are doing the best we can for our family. Thank you for your thoughts:)

Tera said...

I am very lucky to have the "best of both worlds." I am so incredibly thankful for being able to stay home most of the week and also thankful for a job that allows me to only work 2 days. I agree...it's sad Dr. Phil even had this on his show. :( It truly is about the quality of time we spend with our kids.

Leah Robinson said...

The only right answer is what's best for each individual family. We all know God made each of us different, therefore what's best for my family might be different for the family down the street.

Regardless of which scenario is best for children, parents are going to always feel guilt. If you're working, you feel guilty you're not at home with your kiddos....if you're at home, you feel guilty you're not bringing in any income. So it's pointless to argue really :) To each their own!

We personally have chosen for me to work b/c I have great insurance and benefits, this is helping my children's future..nothing wrong with that :)

Chelsa said...

I dvr'd this and watched the entire show last night. I think that Dr. Phil made very valid points and was very quick to say that there is no "one size fits all" formula for this. There was only ONE very radical person on there named Jessica who was a stay at home mom and pretty much said all women who go to work each day are selfish and worthless and terrible moms... but Dr. Phil pretty much put her in her place (i actually wrote about this on facebook last night!). I would love to be a stay at home mom, but that just doesn't work for us right now w/ insurance and such so I work. I'm thankful for a flexible job and one day off during the week, but feel I do miss out on some stuff. I know Brycen is not being hurt from going to daycare/preschool though. I agree as women we need to quit judging each other and stand behind each other. Being a mom is a tough job no matter what!

Jen said...

I love the sounding board. We made the decision to put Brady in daycare at age 2 and I wish we would have done it sooner. He is thriving, loves playing with other kids, and seems overall like a happier kid. I would never take anything away from a mother who stays home, but as it has been stated each situation is different and I think it is wonderful that we,as moms, know what is best for our family and we make that happen!

Desiree' said...

i agree! i wish i could stay home with dru every day...but our life can't be supported that way without my income....great post!