GREAT video!

A good friend sent me the link to this video - and I just CAN'T get over it. LOVE the message...you guys have to check it out:) You will have to go to the bottom of my page and pause the music on the playlist player, and then wait for the video to load...but I promise it is worth it!! Enjoy:)

Snuggly...

This morning I picked Max up off the bed and he wrapped his arms & legs around me, so sweet and snuggly...I said "Awwwhhh...my warm (and snuggly) bubba!!"

He quickly answered back "Awwwhhh....my hot mama!"
I couldn't stop laughing, but he couldn't figure out what was so funny:)

Hope everyone is having an AMAZING Thursday!

Great book!

"Yet she kept discovering in the places of deepest aloneness and emptiness the God who was with her, for her. She discovered Christ's presence from the inside out, seeing what He sees as He sees it. She now has a sense of what the world looks like from a cross. She knows the darkness of the inside of a grave. And she knows, more and more, the brightness of a new day when the world is glimpsed as from a tomb, its stone rolled away." -Mark Buchanan

This is only one of the many AMAZING quotes I've found in Angie Smith's new book, entitled I Will Carry You (she begins each chapter with a quote, and ends each with scripture). I'm sure most of you follow her blog, which is called Bring the Rain. I had pre-ordered the book from amazon.com and just received it last week! The first night I started reading it, I laid in bed and balled my eyes out...eventually having to make several trips to the bathroom for Kleenex. It's just touching...her way with words has a way of soothing your soul. You have GOT to read this book....seriously - what are you waiting for?? Go order it:)!!

My Life: Under Construction

So lately I've felt like my whole life is under construction!

But one thing is under construction officially now - and that is our new home:)

It's taken so many months to get the deed for land, surveys completed, plans created, and money from the bank...but the time is finally here to begin building! I'm so very excited...it's a crazy feeling to watch each step...we visit our "spot" nightly. Yesterday they dug the footer and put down gravel for the crawl space. Today they are pouring concrete into the footers. My head

just spins when I think about how different my life will be in just a few short months.
My mom and dad have been lifesavers for Max and I. I have no clue what I would have done

without them - from the moment I stumbled out of my Washington house dumbfounded and scared, they took me in. They adjusted to a little boy being in the house all over again. They never asked for anything - only asked how they could help. I will never regret one single day I spent in my mom and dad's home...each day brought me more blessings and a stronger bond with them than ever before. With my mom. With my dad. With my brothers. With Max. I really cherish the time I've been there. But there are a few things that I'm looking forward to:

• Having a closet (at this time Max and I have our clothes stacked along the perimeter of our room!)


• Whirlpool tub (my personal favorite)


• A t.v. (I NEVER, and I mean, NEVER get to watch my own shows because there is only 1 t.v. at mom and dad's...so it is either on cartoons, sports center, or American Idol).


• Max having his own room...better yet - his own BED!!


• Getting to decorate each room according to Gabe and I's style:)


• No animals in the house bothering the heck out of me

• An office where I can sit at a desk, close the door, and work on my Master's homework (only 5 more months!!)
  


• Etc. (I could go on and on...)

Here is a picture of the progress so far...only the beginning stages - but that doesn't lessen the excitement:) Also...because I'm sure some of you are missing pics of my little man - here is one for you!

The first picturing is Max gardening, the second is my Uncle Jeff checking out our space, and the third is something Gabe did without me and Max knowing - little things like this are the reason this man has stolen my heart...

No, I have not forgotten about the whole voting on wedding stuff posts. I promise there is more on that to come! BUT.........you guessed it, I'm kinda busy at the moment:)!

Fresh Wound

Tonight I write to you as a mother whose heart is aching...

as someone who would do anything to take away the pain in her son's eyes...

with tears streaming down my face I am trying to sort this out...

trying to find a way to make it all better.

Tonight I was giving Max his bath and he was acting up, so I got after him a little and he immediately started crying. I wrapped him up in a towel and held him while he sobbed. I don't mean just a normal cry, these were heart-wrenching sobs. The kind of cry that you realize something is going on much deeper. Something is tearing my sweet boy's heart apart.

I asked him what was wrong...and answered "I just love you so much, Mommy." I tried to comfort him and soothe him...telling him that I am here, always here.

As we settled into bed he continued to cry his little heart out...struggling to breath as the sobs wracked his body. I begged him to tell me what was making him cry...but I knew. I knew in my heart that this little boy was letting out emotions that he had been disguising for days...for months...for too long.

He misses his Daddy.

His Dad is off fighting his own demons...miles and miles away addressing some things that should have been confronted long ago. But this past weekend he was home and Max was able to visit him. When Max returned home on Sunday he explained that Daddy had given him something "special." It is a gold coin to hold...and his Daddy told him when he begins to miss him to hold it in his hand and talk to God - and God will tell Daddy what he says.

The crying continues until I ask Max if he wants his gold coin. With a slight nod, he acknowledges everything I had assumed. As soon as the coin is in his hand, his sobs become a whimper and he clinches it with everything he has. He silently sends his prayer up and begins to fall asleep. His heavy eyes close...and here I am. Left to unravel all that has transpired. It is twisted around me and I feel imprisoned...having no way to untangle myself or my sweet little man. Feeling like a failure for not having the words to explain or the touch to heal our broken hearts.

So I will lay down next to him...savoring the smell of his freshly washed hair, praying to my Savior that He will give me the strength to get up in the morning and put on a smile for my little one - so that I am able to show him it is another day and we will make it. We will overcome the tangled mess I've made of our lives.

Easter 2010

We had such a great Easter...an inspiring sermon at church, so many family gatherings, amazing food, lots of rest - I just could not have asked for more. I have gotten my camera out again (during the winter months I'm so uninspired to break out my camera:)!! Got some great shots this weekend and it just makes me soooo excited for the warm weather. Warm weather = sunlight = amazing photos!

Max was real excited about the pictures, as you can see:)

My heart is soooo full these days...almost overflowing and I am rejoicing in this time of happiness. I know these times come and go (so I'm not taking a moment for granted), but God is so good and he ALWAYS takes care of us. Even in the darkest days.

Just wanted to share some of the pictures I took this weekend - hope you also had a great

Easter! Last night Max got a little carried away with all the Easter candy he recieved - ended up puking right before bedtime. Ohhhhh, the joys of childhood:) ha ha!

Larry, Gina, Janae, and Logan

The Raber family

Poss, Aunt Bea, and Cody

The whole gang on a 4-wheeler ride!

Gabe's cousin, Hannah, riding a pony named Babe

Janae helping Max find Easter eggs during the hunt!

Gabe's cousin's little boy, Jason - isn't he so cute?

My cousin Chas's sweet little man, Nick!


Lots of love, Abbie