Nursery

Our little family has been hard at work, preparing a nursery for the sweet little one we are expecting.

With only 5 weeks until she arrives, we have been getting used to the idea of moving from a family of 3 to a larger family of 4!

Max has been super involved in helping me do some artwork for the walls, and Gabe works hard on the nursery after working all day at the Sawmill.

I feel so blessed to have these two men in my life, and I know they are going to spoil our sweet new addition when she arrives!

Fourth of July...

For the 4th of July weekend we decided to camp with family at Boggs Lake, and even celebrated our 1 year anniversary while we were there! Being 34 weeks pregnant slowed me down a little - but it was nice to relax with family and watch my two boys have a BLAST on the water:)

By Monday - we were all completely wiped out and ready to head home for good, long showers!

Overload of cuteness...

Max was in another wedding this weekend and it was just an overload of cuteness...he even got to walk the couple's cute dog down the aisle- check it out:)

Of course his mean old mom made him pose for some photos - I just couldn't help it!

I had to capture some of Max with his Papa GG - I think the pictures speak for themselves as far as how much these two love each other:)

And one more that shows the 3 generations of men:)

WonderLab

We have made a summer to-do list (an idea I borrowed from some other blogs I read) and we got to check off one last week - "visit the WonderLab!" Max & I traveled to Bloomington with Jessica & baby Dailee to meet up with Lauren, who took us to Mama Bear's to eat and then to the WonderLab to play:) We had a yummy lunch, a funny diaper-changing incident with Dailee in downtown Bloomington, and then spent the afternoon exploring the WonderLab. Just one of our many adventures during the Summer of 2011:

Constant reminders...

There are times when I have little patience with my sweet little boy. I get grumpy and tired...tired of telling Max to pick up his toys, tired of stepping on Legos or walking past his messy room. But this week as I walked around the house, I looked at those scattered toys with a different perspective - I started thinking of them as sweet reminders of his childhood. A childhood that is moving wayyyyyy too fast for this mama.

Reminders of giggles and laughs over silly games...

Reminders of pretend play with lots of imagination...

Reminders of dreams unseen and a future wide open...

It helps me remember that one day soon the world will be his to explore without me, and I will no longer see those constant reminders of a little boy who makes my heart sing. I will miss those scattered toys, his messy room, and picking up after him. And I'm going to spend the rest of the summer cherishing these constant reminders of Max's childhood.

Last weekend I was so excited to inherit a new sister:) - Gabe's brother Caleb married his sweetie, Mallory Wagler. We had such a fun weekend with family and friends - I had my camera with me all weekend and snapped lots of photos. We even got one family picture taken...which is really rare lately - I think I've only been in a couple pictures since I got pregnant. With this pregnancy I've been so insecure - sorta hiding as much as I can. It's truly crazy how different my two pregnancies have been...and how my 30 year old body has handled this baby compared to how I carried Max at age 24. I began to show much sooner, my belly button popped out the minute I found out I was pregnant, my back has spasms often, I'm sore and so much more tired.

Max was the ring bearer and he had a blast all weekend - even getting to ride in a Hummer limo to the reception. He completely wore his tux out at the reception by playing football, running around like a wild-man, and even jumping in puddles at the end of the night (most of this I didn't even know about until much later)! Typical boy stuff - I just love that little man!

Max also had his last baseball game on Monday evening - and even though he was disappointed to lose in the 1st game of the tourney, he has learned so much this year and made some great friends along the way!

It has been a great start to our summer, and I'm excited to see how the rest of it unfolds!

Divorce

(Max 2008)

Some say I took the easy way out...

this is anything but easy.

Gil and I seperated when Max was only 2 years old.

Now he's 5 - and last night he broke down.

It was a normal night...we read a book, said our prayers, and laid down to fall asleep. And I started to hear Max whimper. It started out so softly that I thought I was only imagining it. But it quickly turned into full-blown sobbing.

I asked him what was wrong -

and my heart broke when he cried "I miss my Daddy!"

It caught me off guard because it's been so long since he has done this.

99% of the time Max is the most well-adjusted, happy, carefree little boy.

But I am often reminded that the choices that his father and I made are STILL affecting our sweet little boy every single day of his life.

Even if I don't see the effects all the time.

Even if I still feel this was the right choice for all of us.

Even if it still hurts.

No one should ever say divorce is the easy way out.

It's HARD and it's BRUTAL...and it's our reality.

Our hearts are still healing and probably always will be.