Constant reminders...

There are times when I have little patience with my sweet little boy. I get grumpy and tired...tired of telling Max to pick up his toys, tired of stepping on Legos or walking past his messy room. But this week as I walked around the house, I looked at those scattered toys with a different perspective - I started thinking of them as sweet reminders of his childhood. A childhood that is moving wayyyyyy too fast for this mama.

Reminders of giggles and laughs over silly games...

Reminders of pretend play with lots of imagination...

Reminders of dreams unseen and a future wide open...

It helps me remember that one day soon the world will be his to explore without me, and I will no longer see those constant reminders of a little boy who makes my heart sing. I will miss those scattered toys, his messy room, and picking up after him. And I'm going to spend the rest of the summer cherishing these constant reminders of Max's childhood.

Last weekend I was so excited to inherit a new sister:) - Gabe's brother Caleb married his sweetie, Mallory Wagler. We had such a fun weekend with family and friends - I had my camera with me all weekend and snapped lots of photos. We even got one family picture taken...which is really rare lately - I think I've only been in a couple pictures since I got pregnant. With this pregnancy I've been so insecure - sorta hiding as much as I can. It's truly crazy how different my two pregnancies have been...and how my 30 year old body has handled this baby compared to how I carried Max at age 24. I began to show much sooner, my belly button popped out the minute I found out I was pregnant, my back has spasms often, I'm sore and so much more tired.

Max was the ring bearer and he had a blast all weekend - even getting to ride in a Hummer limo to the reception. He completely wore his tux out at the reception by playing football, running around like a wild-man, and even jumping in puddles at the end of the night (most of this I didn't even know about until much later)! Typical boy stuff - I just love that little man!

Max also had his last baseball game on Monday evening - and even though he was disappointed to lose in the 1st game of the tourney, he has learned so much this year and made some great friends along the way!

It has been a great start to our summer, and I'm excited to see how the rest of it unfolds!

Divorce

(Max 2008)

Some say I took the easy way out...

this is anything but easy.

Gil and I seperated when Max was only 2 years old.

Now he's 5 - and last night he broke down.

It was a normal night...we read a book, said our prayers, and laid down to fall asleep. And I started to hear Max whimper. It started out so softly that I thought I was only imagining it. But it quickly turned into full-blown sobbing.

I asked him what was wrong -

and my heart broke when he cried "I miss my Daddy!"

It caught me off guard because it's been so long since he has done this.

99% of the time Max is the most well-adjusted, happy, carefree little boy.

But I am often reminded that the choices that his father and I made are STILL affecting our sweet little boy every single day of his life.

Even if I don't see the effects all the time.

Even if I still feel this was the right choice for all of us.

Even if it still hurts.

No one should ever say divorce is the easy way out.

It's HARD and it's BRUTAL...and it's our reality.

Our hearts are still healing and probably always will be.

Preschool Graduate

My little man is now a Preschool graduate! Holy moly - where did the time go? He makes me a super-proud mama and I just don't know where I would be right now without that little boy. There have been times in his little life that he was all I had and I was all he knew. This bond will never be broken...if I'm sure of anything in my life that is the truth I hold on to. He looked super sweet in his red cap & gown...and acted incredibly grown up as he led the pledge of alligence and sang songs on stage with his classmates. Here is a short clip of the program:

Max has some really close friends from his class...and this is him with his buddy, Aiden.


There is no doubt in my mind that Max is ready to kindergarten in August...the amount of progress he has made in the last few months of Preschool is really amazing! At the program they recited their ABC's, counted by 5's and 10's, said the days of the week and months of the year, and even memorized a few nursery rhymes.

When we got home, Max had a graduation present waiting for him - and he was so very excited about it!!! A NEW BIKE - without training wheels:) Of course we had to try it out right away!

Baseball season

Max's baseball season is in full swing - we usually have 2 -3 games each week and I somehow got roped into keeping the book! It's been busy, but an easy-going type of busy which I love. Most of my evenings as a child were spent at the ball park in Odon, and getting back into that routine has been relaxing. Here are a few photos of my little man playing ball:

My "little" cousin Jessica had a sweet baby girl last week, her name is Dailee Jo Echavarria. We love her so much already and I just think she is the most precious little thing! We visited her in the hospital, but Max didn't get to meet her until yesterday, when we took them supper. He was so very excited and couldn't wait to hold her - I think he was practicing for his baby sister who is due in just 3 short months! I think baby Swartzentruber and Dailee Jo will be the best of friends and I can't wait to watch them grow up together!

Yesterday morning my cousin Chas's little man had his first communion, so we went to church with them and helped the family celebrate afterwards with lunch & cake:) He is such a big boy and growing up too fast...what a sweetheart! We just found out that Chas is expecting - so this already large family will be growing even larger!! We are very excited!

Later this week Max has his Odon Christian Church Preschool graduation - so be sure to check back later in the week for lots of pictures in his cap and gown:)

Odds and Ends

Just had some random things I wanted to record here on the blog - not much has been going on with us. Max has started pee-wee baseball practice and is really into it this year. Tee-ball last year was a little slow for him, but getting to hit off the pitching machine is so much more fun for him:) Gabe (along with his brother and his dad) are helping coach this year and everything is going really well...two practices down, and another one tonight:)

Last weekend a wonderful family friend came to visit with her two little boys, who are 4 and 5 years old. Max was in heaven having other little boys to play with! Here is a picture of all 3 boys sitting on top of my Grandma Raber's freezer (where there are still some of her yummy goodies she used to make frozen away for us to enjoy later)...

And here is a great picture that my Aunt Gina snapped of me and Grandpa Raber:

A few days ago my brother Clay (Max's "Uncle Faye) played basketball against the Harlem Wizards at the Washington gym. We had a good time sitting with my cousin Chas and her family, and I even managed to get a picture of Max and Clay - these two are the best of buddies!
Ya know how they say that children are almost honest to a fault...well, Max was brutally honest with me one day this week! ha ha! We were in the kitchen and I turned around to get something out of the fridge, when Max says from behind me "Mom, your butt is getting pretty BIG!" Oh my goodness...well, gee, thanks Max. Just what I needed to hear...he's such a stinker! Speaking of the joys of pregnancy...my ankles have already started swelling - I'm afraid I'm in for a long summer! August just can't get here fast enough:)

Our little weekend away...

This past weekend we took a little Spring Break trip to Indy, where we stayed at the Holiday Inn at the Pyramids (which has the waterpark inside). It was nice just to get away...just me, Gabe, and Max - and spoil Max a little since I feel like he's been a little abandoned thru my whole pregnancy because of me being so sick and such. So we let Max make most of the decisions...what to do each day, where to eat, etc. We ended up spending time each day at the waterpark, eating pizza and drinking pop alot, visiting the children's museum, watching two movies on a big screen at the hotel with free popcorn, and just playing at the arcade MULTIPLE times:)

We had such a great time, but I was so busy enjoying myself that I didn't take many pictures. I

did get a few that were cute, Max is in the navy blue/orange swim trunks:

I also haven't shared on here that last Wednesday we found out our little Swartzentruber baby is a GIRL! Max was hoping for a sister, so I was glad his wish came true:) We are so filled with joy about this little girl - we have been discussing names, looking at baby bedding, and my mom has been buying out all the pink outfits in any store within 30 miles:) Ha ha - we cannot wait to meet this sweet little one. I really think Max will be such an amazing big brother - can't wait to see him in action!

Speaking of Max - he informed me that although he wore his earplugs each day at the waterpark, he managed to get some water in his ears and now has a major ear infection. We are heading to the ear specialist tomorrow afternoon to see what can be done. He has had so much trouble with his ears - two sets of tubes and now holes in each ear drum (I think from the tubes falling out and the ear drum tissue not growing back together??). I just hate to see him suffer thru all these ear aches...it really is miserable for him! I'm sure the Dr. will get him all fixed up tomorrow and he will be back to his little happy self soon!